Not a blog war. Not at all



For someone far away... (haha ok not that far)
How have you been lately? Judging from your latest posts you seem to be facing some problems? Eh you need to know that you are always at the top at my 'all blog updates' things.. ha-ha nice try B) Well actually I'm kind of knowing what are you going through at the moment and yet I can't help and I feel bad about it. I dont know but I believe that you have so many advices from others already. And anything too much will never work. Anyway I'm not very good at leadership things- you knoow.. So I just want to let you know that if you get tired by situation and everything you can always come to me and we're gonna have fun and forget your problems for awhile like we always do. And remember one thing; with the decisions you made you cant make everyone happy, we cant live to please everybody, so dont push yourself too much. It’s a waste of time trying to make everyone like you. Just be you. I’ve learned the hard way and in the end, some people are just so full of hate that no matter what you say or do, they’ll always have something to say. They’ll never like you.
(Kkk then I end up lecturing you -__-)
You have a good time, enjoy your present, you will remember it someday.
Stay positive and don’t always assume that things are going to be wrong :)

Awesome quote is awesome


"Too much pressure on these children is immense. Their flame, their passion is smothered by their parents. Let them be themselves"


I cant stop chasing


Good night. It’s 7 pm when I wrote this post.. What a beautiful night with the not-so-heavy rain outside. Today was so great anyway, today was the day of the year(even its only february). Today was  everything I could ever ask. Today was the day when I have to think really hard if it will be ok if I write everything that happened here. Today was like a dream, yeah.. even you will never ever recognize me. It’s good enough because I dont know what will I do if someday you notice I was keeping my eyes on you on a daily basis. Today I feel like completely forgot the day you walked pass by, laughing with your girlfriend. I dont care if I was being too obvious.
I forgot that not more than 48 hours ago, I said to everyone  I’d like to move on. I over-replayed olivia’s move on songs. Then today came. Then the best thing I could imagine came. I barely could breathe and feel my feet still on the ground. Was that dream? Why it have to be like this? Why didnt you know me first before that girl? Why is this so late? Why I dont feel right with this? Why things have to be so complicated? 
One thing I know now, that I’m not over him yet. Give me just a little more time. Give me more time to find a distraction, to helm myself to turn around, to accept the fact that he’s not the one I can fall into. But somehow.. why do I keep chasing on you?

Come what may



Dreams. Once I heard we have to chase our dreams, we fight to get our dreams. But sometimes in life, we have to let it go; we just have to give up. And the saddest part is... when you realize what you have learned when you were younger... all are just lies. I keep saying that what I do its not a giving up. Its called being realistic and cope with the condition. Because so far, i know enough that the world we live is not about all the saying in the old motivation book. It is that we cant be what we wanted, instead we have to follow what the society want us to be. Its not that bad, its a natural instinc for a human to be accepted by the others, isnt it?
And as we grow up we will learn to live other's life. To pretend you are ok with everything they want you to do. (I think I will never be good at this)

Okay so I'm saying again that I'm not giving up, its just a part of being a grown up, its just letting everything be the way it must be, Its just a 'come what may', Its just a 'Que serra serra - whatever will be, will be'


Overthingking Everything


I have thoughts running through my head lately.. I have a million thoughts and worries, and all million of them jostle for my attention at the exact same time. Like my studies problem, financial, family, friendship(did I hurt a's feeling? Did I say the wrong thing? Were they talking me back? Am I that bad in their eyes?) and some are just inconsequential (did I remember to turn off the hair straightener this morning? Have I done my math homework?) They all seem equally dramatic and important in my mind.

Each worry is swirling and floating through my brain. For the most part, I've gotten infinitely better at controlling these worries: determining which deserves my immediate attention, which ones I can procrastinate for a later time, and which ones I can ignore completely. But sometimes my brain went error too. I start having more trouble sleeping, and hearing more negative self-talk, and feel increasingly self-conscious and insecure.

Yeah, I am a master at taking a seemingly simple situation, innocent comment or off-handed remark and turning it into a grave situation equivalent to the Ambon uprising. Like most women, I have a tendency to ruminate. I focus on the things I'm not doing right and the things that are out of my control, examining them repeatedly until they swell in size. And as these negative thoughts take over, I get increasingly overwhelmed.

Take a deep breath, It's the morning of your very first day...

So hows everyone doin?
2 bulan ga nge-post dan kayaknya ga ada yang kangen ya(hiksss), dan mungkin kalo tika ga promot tulisan baru di twitter opening nya bakal jadi.... 5 bulan ga ngepost, 3 taun ga ngepost, 18 taun since the last post, heniiiiiiing...

Ok, lemme guess pasti lagi pada mudik ayaya? Apa lagi packing? Otw? It must be fun fun fun. How about me? I'll be fine by just reading online manga and watching k-drama overnight till the 153th episode hehe sound pathetic? Naaah its so much fun plus i have to take care of my brother yang kena cacar. Yep the chickenpox dan fortunately aku udah kena 3 bulan yang lalu jadi(semoga) ga kena lagi.

Denger denger kalo belom nge post new high school life nya belom bisa disebut gaul ya? Baiklah kalau begitu...
Have i told you anyway that finally I went to the public school I always rooting on hahahahahaha ya SMA8, yes it was 'that' hard to make my parents agree but at the end of the day I made it and they finally let me. Akhirnya yang di tunggu tunggu tiba... MOS. How was the mos? The very first day, I was obviously nervous that I forgot to listen to Taylor Swift's Fifteen in the morning. I forgot how to make friends on first day of school walaupun ini ke 3 kali nya hari pertama ke sekolah baru yang satu sekolah ga ada yang kenal sama sekali... Cool eh? Back to the story aku janjian sama Nabila, anak 8 pertama yang aku kenal via twitter, dan abis di bagi bagi gugus nya, kita ga se gugus. Was pretty disappointing. Dan masih inget, yang baris di depan aku caca, belakang aku si wangi, terus sapi;;) Hehe abis mos selesai, ternyata satu gugus langsung jadi kelas... Ga diacak lagi betapa senang hatiku. Day by day passed. We get to know each other very well, hangout, buka bareng, and many more. They taught me things I never knew before. Things that I'm sure i will never learn If I dont took this way. How to be more independent, how to not always see upside, how to cope with larger environment, how to see things with different prespective... within 2 months. Super. And thank you X-8.

credit: sarka

Uhm and as you can see in my twitter bio(hehehehe) I joined the softball club... Its every friday and saturday(and some additional days) It was very exciting meski aku juga ga jago jago amat hehe, tapi kalo kerja keras, who knows kan? ;)
Oh iyaaa satu lagi hehe, i finally got my blackberry(once in a lifetime moment), and its pink. yes PINK. Even the main reason was................forget it. Dont mind to ask my pin ok?;;)) hahah

Yesterday I went to the movie with Nadya. Just two of us. Ok why does it come up in creepy way -_- yes I went to ciwalk with oci last week, just two of us too. Eeeek believe me Im still in love with Bastian Schweinsteiger. Nadya and I talked soooo much because we have many things in common, dont we? Hehe we watched harry potter then tried the jonas photobox :


That was so much fun. Thank you for everyone, you new people that gave many colours in my new life as a high schooler. Hehe. thaks so much.