I cant stop chasing

Good night. It’s 7 pm when I wrote this post.. What a beautiful night with the not-so-heavy rain outside. Today was so great anyway, today was the day of the year(even its only february). Today was  everything I could ever ask. Today was the day when I have to think really hard if it will be ok if I write everything that happened here. Today was like a dream, yeah.. even you will never ever recognize me. It’s good enough because I dont know what will I do if someday you notice I was keeping my eyes on you on a daily basis. Today I feel like completely forgot the day you walked pass by, laughing with your girlfriend. I dont care if I was being too obvious.
I forgot that not more than 48 hours ago, I said to everyone  I’d like to move on. I over-replayed olivia’s move on songs. Then today came. Then the best thing I could imagine came. I barely could breathe and feel my feet still on the ground. Was that dream? Why it have to be like this? Why didnt you know me first before that girl? Why is this so late? Why I dont feel right with this? Why things have to be so complicated? 
One thing I know now, that I’m not over him yet. Give me just a little more time. Give me more time to find a distraction, to helm myself to turn around, to accept the fact that he’s not the one I can fall into. But somehow.. why do I keep chasing on you?