Overthingking Everything


I have thoughts running through my head lately.. I have a million thoughts and worries, and all million of them jostle for my attention at the exact same time. Like my studies problem, financial, family, friendship(did I hurt a's feeling? Did I say the wrong thing? Were they talking me back? Am I that bad in their eyes?) and some are just inconsequential (did I remember to turn off the hair straightener this morning? Have I done my math homework?) They all seem equally dramatic and important in my mind.

Each worry is swirling and floating through my brain. For the most part, I've gotten infinitely better at controlling these worries: determining which deserves my immediate attention, which ones I can procrastinate for a later time, and which ones I can ignore completely. But sometimes my brain went error too. I start having more trouble sleeping, and hearing more negative self-talk, and feel increasingly self-conscious and insecure.

Yeah, I am a master at taking a seemingly simple situation, innocent comment or off-handed remark and turning it into a grave situation equivalent to the Ambon uprising. Like most women, I have a tendency to ruminate. I focus on the things I'm not doing right and the things that are out of my control, examining them repeatedly until they swell in size. And as these negative thoughts take over, I get increasingly overwhelmed.